Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
It has been one of those days and i feel like i am losing my mind. My husband is a meth addict and quit the drugs approx 3 weeks ago. Since then it has been one huge rollercoaster ride (worse then when he was on the drugs). The withdrawals from this drug have been unbelievable - mood swings, anger, depression, tiredness, pain etc etc etc etc - the list goes on. And all i hear from everyone is "the poor addict!" Dont get me wrong, i love my husband dearly and am so proud that he has quit meth and has gotten this far, but i dont think he realises how hard it has been for us. We are expected to tip toe around so as not to upset him. The doctor told him that he should do as many enjoyable things as he can. Meanwhile i am packing our belongings as we have declared bankruptcy and have lost our home and car due to financial problems that his drug use caused. All the while he is too tired to help with anything! I just feel so angry with him sometimes (like i am not already angry enough with all the lies i have been told over the past few years!) And when do i get a chance to do something i enjoy - in between moving, working (someone has to bring in an income - he is not working at the moment) and looking after the children?
Im sorry, i must sound like a horrible person. I think i am just feeling alone and worn out by the situation. I just hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Are there any success stories for successfully quitting meth out there? I just want my husband back.....
Im sorry, i must sound like a horrible person. I think i am just feeling alone and worn out by the situation. I just hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Are there any success stories for successfully quitting meth out there? I just want my husband back.....
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
just hang in there
good luck
let me know how everything is going and message me anytime.
The good news is when we work on our recovery (for the loved ones of addicts) we are less tied into what they are and are not doing. This also does not mean that he gets to do nothing to help and support you, and if he goes to meetings he learns how to deal with his stress so that he can begin living his life without the drugs.
The addict has been using to cope so yes, this is a new way of living. WE the loved ones get tired as we have been through a lot too.
We learn to detach with love and allow them that space. BUT I don't mean to sound like you need to carry the whole load.
You are not a horrible person. You are tired, just like the rest of us get after dealing so long with this disease called addiction.
Keep your head up and be gentle with yourself. Work on YOU, and do get that book Codependent No More. IT REALLY will help..
Blessings...
EllaBlue
I feel your pain though maybe not as bad. I have not had to declare bankruptcy yet but I am sure I will. When I think of all the money gone and all the lies it makes me physically ill. I can't help it. People have told me to let it go and not let it affect me but how can it not affect me. I have been with my husband for 9 years, 2 of those I have been married to him. I feel like our whole marriage has been one big lie. I found out at the beginning of this year just what he has been up to all this time. He started with Oxycontin but at the end of 06 he had moved onto heroine. I never would have believed it until I found the stash of needles one night in our bathroom. That was the worst night of my life. We have lost so much this year because of the addiction. I am shocked to still have my car at this point. We live with his mom because we have been tossed out of our home. All my stuff and his are in various pawn shops and trying to make minimum payments to hold onto them has broken me. This week I got a glimer of hope though I don't know if it will work for him. He is going to a place called meditox on Thursday to get detoxed, supposedly without the pain of withdrawls. I am so ezcited yet scared at the same time. What if this doesn't work? The methodone sure didn't. That was a waste of time and money. That was just changing addictions in my eyes. I hate all this so much. It has wrecked me so bad.
I know how you are feeling, like you are holding up the world. And you are. You are dong a great job and I bet your husband will thank you for it when he can. Do what you think is right and keep doing it. You will get a chance for you, it may take awhile, but when you are both on the other side of this, you will be happy that you could do what you can now. When he is feeling back to his own self, he will be able to give you time that you need. Otherwise, please go to family and friends and ask for help with the kids, ask friends who know what you are going through to make a meal for your family. Let a local church know what you are going through and they may bring over some games for the kids, or atleast shower your family with prayer. There is no shame in that, because I bet if you knew you could help someone else out by babysitting or making a meal, you would.
Take a deep breath (x10) and remember a good time with your family and try to remember the real reason you are going to get through this. You love him, and he loves you, and you also have kids to be thankfull for (well most of the time LOL). (((((((((HUGS)))))))))) to you.
Keep us updated,
TG