Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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/ Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

CHRISTMAS

deleted_user
deleted_user
Last christmas was the worst christmas i have ever had. mums an alcoholic.. and she got badly drunk in christmas day.. like mega drunk... & we came home in tha late afternoon from my cousins house & in the evening my dad, me and mum were sat watching tv n she then came out with all this abuse to me n mum dad saying that we dont care about her and so shes going to kill herself and its our fault etc.
Im staying with my boyfriend for christmas so i can get away from it all, but im scared.. I dont know what "normal" is anymore.. & obviously his parents will be drinking because its christmas day and thats fine.. i know there not like my mum.. but what if they turn out like her?.. what if they say something that'll trigger everything off in my mind? I cant get away from it.. Its always there.. & mum will be alone for christmas, well not with me or my brother or dad to look after her.. & she said that she doesnt care what i say shes going to drink.. What if she comes home that night & does kill herself? Im not there to stop her am i.. What if she falls over like she used to or goes out drink driving.. Im not there to stop her like i always am.. But i cant bare to be around her on christmas day..
Helpppp!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have learned one thing YOU are not in control of anyones actions but YOUR OWN.. In order for you to heal and do what is right you must focous on keeping yourself strong. You are young and have your whole life infront of you. You will make the right decesions in your own life.BE strong.. and Let God lead you to your place. I hope that you have a better Christmas this year, go shopping with friends and don't let abusive people share the Joy of christmas from you. ENJOY it and embrace it. It only comes once a year!! GOd Bless you
deleted_user
deleted_user
baby, as hard as it is, we could watch our alcoholic or drug addicted loved ones and we cannot prevent what is going to happen. Often times by doing so, we are just delaying what is going to happen anyway.

Suicide threats need to be taken seriously and I wonder if you could contact someone that could deal directly with your mom, and that would not be you. That is something that those skilled in suicide thoughts can handle. Often times and SO sadly the addict or alcoholic will use that to manipulate and get what they want. That is part of the sickness. And because we never know, it DOES create such anxiety. The things is as lucy said, this is NOT anything you can control. It just is not hun.

It is healthy for you to remove yourself from those that create such chaos and cause us to feel sick. I would suggest al-anon meetings for you. You need that support and in those meetings we bond with others that understand and that can lead us in the right direction. And we do that without the guilt.
Blessings..
Ellablue
P.S if being around anyone that drinks, is uncomfortable for you, no matter who they are, you have the right to say no.
xjanedoe
xjanedoe
I agree with the others, you can't control her. Try and have a good Christmas for once. I also have started spending Holidays with my boyfriends family. It is an odd feeling and you may feel a little on edge with your expectations of disaster since it is all you know but everything will be fine! Just remember, your Mom makes her OWN choices and nothing you do or say will stop her. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas filled with love, joy, and lots of laughter.
mgs1
mgs1
Babydoll...
I know how painful this is for you, but it isn't normal. You cannot be responsible for your mother. That makes you co-dependent. You have to take care of yourself and just pray for your mother than she finds a way to save herself.
Take care.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hate being around my mother on every holiday. I'm sorry you have to experience this, and it will never stop hurting. I can only say in hind-sight, I wish I had gotten as far away from mine as I could, so that I could breathe, and have a life. Don't let her choices take over your life because she could get help if she really wanted it. I hope and pray she does get help
mom-of-3
mom-of-3
I belong to a group called Families Anonymous. It's lead by a facilitator who is a recovering addict. She's extremely helpful because she knows, first hand, what works. She stopped using when she was in her 40's and had a family. Her immediate family AND her extended (parents, sisters, etc) for the holidays would decide ahead of time (without telling her) where they were going to celebrate. Sometimes she said the family had to switch locations because she would find out. She said that it was the only way the family could enjoy themselves. I know you're young and get arrange this yourself, but perhaps you can bring it up to the family. Question: Are there any support groups where you live you can join to help you deal with this?
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