Today is the beginning of my second week in dealing with my husbands withdrawal from his medication and his return to alcohol. I spent Friday night re-living the past as I was waiting for him to come home from working late. I knew good and well that he was not going to come home. He drove a friend home who was too drunk to drive and then stayed at his house. Of course he only had 2 drinks. I could tell by his eyes that it was a lie. After years of being so mad about times like this, I just shook it off. Nothing shocks me anymore. I guess I have learned to get over the disappointment of his weakness and selfishness, but when my son came into our room and asked where he was, I had nothing to tell him except for I dont know. It was noon before he even called to say that he wasnt dead on the side of the road somewhere. I could see in his face that he remembered how his dad used to act, and I was surprised. I thought that maybe he was too young to remember. I was hoping he had forgotten. I was fortunate to have wonderful parents. I hope that I can be a solid rock for my two children enough to make up for the one that is letting them down. So today I just hope that my husband can find the strength to get out of the bed and work. I know he hurts, but dont we all? Just hanging in there.
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