I've been watching on here for quite a while...once in a while making comments. But, I want to officially be here. I need to be. My husband of 13 years is an alcoholic. He's had problems drinking before, but he relapsed about a year ago, and it's just gotten worse over time. He has a good job... very professional man. He holds it together enough during the week to continue going to work.. just drinking enough at night to make him eventually fall asleep. Then, the weekends come... Friday night he starts drinking... and over the course of 2 days, he finishes a jog of vodka. I've fought with him about it, pleaded with him, begged him, loved him, etc... obviously nothing works. I know that he needs to decide to stop.. there is nothing I can do about it. I'm a stay at home mom with our two kids (2 & 5 years old), have no income of my own, have covered for him for a long time about his drinking (so no one knows), and our 2 year olds adoption is not yet final... so leaving is not a choice. Hopefully, within the next 2 months, it will be final, and then I'll have a choice. Like many of you, it's so hard, because my husband is kind & gentle... loving, smart, full of pride... but this disease has gotten him... and he can't get out of it. He's not violent, but I can't stand by forever, watching him slowly kill himself. I'm tired of lying & covering up. We have a large house, so he hides away in one of the guest rooms & I tell our kids that he's working or sick. They are the two people I will continue to cover up to... they're too young to know. But, I have told my 5 year old that Daddy has a hard time with the weekends, and that he has a sick that is a "head sick"... so he won't look sick, but he is. That's as far as I plan to go... but even at 5, my son is smart enough to know something is going on... and that explanation was something he could wrap his head around. Anyway... it's just hard, because my husband is even a gentle drunk... the idea of leaving him breaks my heart... and scares me to death.
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