On Nov. 16th it will have been a year since one of my best friends committed suicide. I really can't believe its been that long already, I feel like it was just a while ago I was hanging out with her, talking with her. A small group us is getting together over that weekend and I think we are all going to go to the grave site. I think thats one of the things thats making it hard. I haven't been able to get myself to go to the grave site since I started to accept that she's really gone. That and also the fact that the holidays last year felt tainted because of everything. I just feel like we will all be going into the holidays with a heavy heart. I don't know how to feel or how to handle it. Even though i didn't see her the night it happened, sometimes I dream or picture her falling and hitting the ground. I think we are going to try and do something fun that weekend so that we aren't depressed the whole time, get our minds off of it. After she died I went on an anti-depressant for many things and I just went off it. Because of switching off of it, I feel extra emotional now, and I feel in control now, but I dont know how I'll be then. How do you guys deal with the one year thing?
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