
Families & Friends Affected By Suicide Support Group
Suicide affects not only the individual, but also the family and friends who provide support and love. This community is offered as a place for those affected by suicide to gather and gain strength from each other. PLEASE NOTE: If you are suffering from suicidal thoughts, please take advantage of our CRISIS RESOURCES, which you can find at the bottom of every page of the...
when does the hurt stop

deleted_user
It has taken me 30 days to write this.My ex killed himself.He had it planned because he left notes for people to find but not until it was too late.It's been 30 days today and it feels like yesterday.I go to the cemetary alot the first time i went i just wanted to lay down by him. I needed one more kiss,a touch a conversation maybe i could have stopped him.He had just bought property up north for deer hurting.Everyone should have known because although he was up there he said he wasn't interested in it this year.If i had known he said that i would have drove up there.
This part is graphic so if you have a weak stomach don't read any farther. He had everything to live for his business was going so good he designed a log cabin very manly they delivered it 5 days before he died.Kenny killed himself he locked all doors left a note for his mom that the police won't let her have.I don't know what kind of gun he used or how he held it in his mouth but he was headless.I'd give anything to be able to put his picture on here so handsome and i will never see that face again never touch him .Someone please tell me what to do i feel i'm as tight as a rubber band ready to snap.All the doctors have said what i feel is normal but it has to stop Kalei
This part is graphic so if you have a weak stomach don't read any farther. He had everything to live for his business was going so good he designed a log cabin very manly they delivered it 5 days before he died.Kenny killed himself he locked all doors left a note for his mom that the police won't let her have.I don't know what kind of gun he used or how he held it in his mouth but he was headless.I'd give anything to be able to put his picture on here so handsome and i will never see that face again never touch him .Someone please tell me what to do i feel i'm as tight as a rubber band ready to snap.All the doctors have said what i feel is normal but it has to stop Kalei
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just sat in a chair put a gun to his head and shot.
as simple as that no more brother.
its been 14 years this Oct. reading this fresens the moment. Cant get the site out of my mind. It never compleatly goes away, but only time makes it liveable. I do know my brother would not want be to mourn for him constantly, he would never want me to go through the pain he did. Nothing any one can say can make the pain go away, but youve probably heard it does get better. It does its just long and slow.
YOU DO NOT OWN THIS!!!
There are herbs that can help you to get calm, such as Valerian root. It may take the edge off of the tightness enough for you to prevent snappage. Then, try to find something physical to do that will occupy your mind so that you can go at least some time without thinking about it. It helps.
But, keep it firmly in your mind that you do not own this. It is not your fault. People that do these things find ways to prevent anyone from stopping them, up to and including hiding their plans.
After my brother killed himself I wanted to bang my head against the wall. There are moments when I still do. But the moments are fewer and farther between. Time does really make it better.
Time, and accepting that it is not your fault.
I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with your doctor. Yes, what you are going through is normal. But unless they have also suffered from such a loss, they do not know - so are not equipped to tell you the grieving has to stop. My second son (yes I have lost two sons) was accidently shot and killed by a friend 15 years ago - I have never "gotten over" his death and I never will. What has happened is I have learned to cope with llife without him. I still think of him at least once a day and I still fall to pieces sometimes where the pain is as raw as the day he died. No one ever "gets over" their loved ones death - how can we? When my doctor asked how I was doing, I told him how I was coping - he told me it was good for him to know, as a doctor, how a parent is coping with such a loss. He told me whatever it takes for me to learn to handle it, is good for me. He never told me the grieving had to stop . A few years later, he lost his mother and wrote me a letter, telling me he understood a tiny bit of what I must be feeling.
So, if you don't mind the advice, give in to your grief when you need to. Let your family know why you are crying - whether you just miss him, are angry at him, are questioning "why?". This allows them the freedom to do the same and we know how talking helps us out. Talk about your son in the way you do all the people you love. Treasure your memories. And don't worry - you are not crazy having all this grief and feelings you can't get a hold of. It has been so few days since this horrendous tragedy happened to your family. Ignore the advice of people who haven't "been there". They mean well but they just don't know. Give yourself a hug from me. always, Shirley
When my sister died, I was in constant pain for 15 months until I had relief with the thought that at least she had not suffered all those 15 months, and would not again. I set aside Sundays for crying.
The only way out of the pain is through it. One day at a time.
I don't know of words that could ever ease what you are feeling. If I did, I would be one in a long line of people ready to give you those words. As everyone has expressed, we've been there and are there for you.
I lost my brother not quite three weeks ago. He, too, shot himself. He was getting off work, and I guess he felt he couldn't go on any further in the pain and hurt that he was going through. So, he took his revolver and placed it against his temple and killed himself. I cannot imagine what his friends at work saw, nor do I want to. I have a picture of my brother here by the computer during happier times, and he has his wonderful smile that I can look at to know that once upon a time he WAS happy.
We're dealing with the fact my brother was very unhappy in his marriage.. something we only suspected, as my brother was very private and didn't talk a whole lot. In addition to that, we are learning JUST how his wife and in-laws were and are. They asked twice to go to the area at his work to see where he "did it". When I learned this, I told his best friend that they had nothing to worry about from mom, myself or my sister. We not only didn't want to see it, it's was something we never wanted to see... choosing to remember our son/brother in a MUCH better way.
It is two weeks today since we buried him, and only now are we learning how my sister in law and her family treated my aunts, uncle, cousins, and family in general. I won't go into it, but it devastates me that they were so cold and callous. Knowing that they didn't like him and he didn't like them... to see the fake emotions and "put on" endearments made me physically sick. And yes, they were fake. Everything revolved around them... and never once did I hear them talk about how they would miss him or anything about him. It was always "who are you?", "I'm his grandmother". Nevermind that both sets of our grandparents are gone.. the last one passing away just before Halloween last year.
So the "rubberband tightness" you express, I understand. There's a part of me that wants never to see them again... and on occasion I want to see each of them one last time to slap the frickin' crap out of them.
Some day, hopefully, you'll be able to pull out his picture and remember the event that went on for it to be taken. In remembering, you'll shed some tears... but the pain won't be as intense as it is now. You'll remember him for him... and not what he did. But that... will take time.
{{{{{{{{Kalei}}}}}}}
You are in my thoughts and prayers!