Thank you to all of you who respond to my post. Today was his frist brithday he was not here for. I did pretty good until I wrote the date down. That was hard. All my other brother and sisters went to the graveyard I did not not that I couldnt I just didnt. I am not angry right now i just missed him and did not want to be anymore reminded of his absence than I had to today. I miss him every day and that did not become less or more with the brithday. I cry over him by myself because it hurts my family so much to watch us hurt. And sometimes I am afraid others will not think I am getting over it. I feel I have came along way from that barly standing women the night I found out. I mean that my best friend was holding me up and now I do deal better. I know that I am not the only one to hurt this bad and I wish I could hug each of you that have lost. It breaks my heart. I did the whole if only alot cause I passed the place where the fight took place and meet the police cars as I passed where he died I just did not know. I new it was bad for my brother and I dont know why I was headed to my parents house. Calling Mikies phone every 2 sec without answer. We new about the fight and new they were looking for Mikie and In my heart I new my brother was never coming home. My home was only a few miles from the church parking lot where he died and we moved so I did not have to look at it every day. Thank you all for listening to my story.
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