Families & Friends Affected By Suicide Support Group

Suicide affects not only the individual, but also the family and friends who provide support and love. This community is offered as a place for those affected by suicide to gather and gain strength from each other. PLEASE NOTE: If you are suffering from suicidal thoughts, please take advantage of our CRISIS RESOURCES, which you can find at the bottom of every page of the...

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/ Families & Friends Affected By Suicide Support Group

shock/grief

deleted_user
deleted_user
I've read in a number of places that with suicide, the survivors go through the first year or so with a fog - shock. And that often the second year is the time when the immense pain/anguish is experienced. Does anyone feel this statement is true? I know that I am surviving my son's death by suicide right now because of the shock. I am numb and I go through normal activities without realizing that I am doing them. It has only been 2 months, 3 weeks. I only break down once in awhile but then I push it away. I'm trying to be strong for the remaining family members. I love them so much and it is a blessing to have each and everyone in my life. I love hearing people tell me something about my son - the memories are precious. Those who love me and my family are not afraid to contact me to see how I am. Those who I barely know are avoiding me right now - I don't blame them - they realize something like this could happen to them also. Somehow like it might be contagious. But that doesn't bother me - I only have time for those who are so precious to me. I think of my son at least every minute of each day and then some. I think of how much I loved him, how great a son, father and husband he was. How proud of him I am. His death by suicide will not define him - I will not let it. always, Shirley
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would first like to express how very sorry I am for your loss....I can not begin to imagine the loss of a child, no matter what the age or how it happened, my heart breaks for you and your family. Please be patient with yourself, your loss is so very new, you are doing quite well, and all your feelings are very normal. My sister lost her life to suicide almost 2 yrs ago and sometimes, I am still in shock that it happened. She was sick beyond my understanding, and I agree, suicide should NEVER define a person, my sister was a wonderful, loving, caring woman. This is a good place for you too be, this site has helped me so much, there are MANY wonderful supportive people here. May peace find you and your family...
deleted_user
deleted_user
After my husbands suicide I was in a haze for a couple of years. It's been 12 years and its still hard, but not as much. Time does heal pain. Grief is now a familiar ache, not the stabbing pain it was before.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh my goodness, what a great thing to say, "His death by suicide will not define him..." I have to try not to let that happen to my sweetie too, and I think we've been doing that. I am moved to tears to read that line, thank you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This post mirrors about 99% of what I go through after the first year. I get foggy about things, even a little complacent about doing stuff I used to keep up on. Detached. I miss cues during the day where I should have felt something and didn't. I have to remind myself that I needed to have an emotion right there. It's not a miserable type of thing, just kind of like I hit reset on my emotion box and things are warming back up to normal, or what passes as normal. I think that's what I struggle with right now, sorting through what I do for what is normal and what is an effect of depression. I know I'm depressed about it, but I'm one of those stupid people who went "happy go lucky" about it. I'm not happy, I haven't been lucky, but I shelter myself in humor more than I did before.

You're right about what you said, it doesn't define him, and it's not the sum of the person he was. And that's important to remember. He is, and always will be, a beautiful person.
deleted_user
deleted_user
First let me say I am so sorry for your loss. My only sibling hanged himself a year and 1/2 ago, I was in a I don't even know how to describe amount of pain at the beginning, my favorite grandma shot herself around 16 or so years ago and I was angry at her, but my brother I was just down right shocked even though he threatended for years to do it. Everyone is different, I am still very sad but nothing like at the beginning, I still think of my brother every waking minute, and I have no children so I don't claimt to know how you feel, but time does make it easier to deal with, but you are still at the beginning, it does get better but you will miss them forever. I love what you said about defining them, I don't want my brother to be remembered either like that, and I only go around those who love me and let me talk about him. take care, and keep coming back here, another site like this saved my life in the beginning! take care, kel
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am just beginning to realize how "foggy" I've been for the last 3 1/2 months since Steve hung himself. Your post was very helpful, I was surprised to know that feeling so numb was common. I also love your statement that his death by suicide will not define him. That is a great comfort and I agree completely with you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you everyone - I am so grateful that I have found this site. I know I can express my feelings, ask sensitive questions, and generally feel like I am with those who "know" here. always, Shirley
deleted_user
deleted_user
Shirley, let me start by saying how sorry I am for the loss of your precious son. I really love your statement, "his death by suicide will not define him" How perfect! I have read the same about the 2nd year. It has been a year and 1/2 since I lost my soulmate. I can totally relate to all of the feeling and emotions in the beginnig. The pain has lessened some and of course I think about him every single day. The only difference is...it does not consume my every waking thought. I still feel numb, but I am not in such a deep fog as I was in before. At least I can remember now what I did yesterday!lol I am here for you and my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. It's a long, difficult journey...we in this together. Hugs, ~Steph
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