Its 7 weeks now and the denial stage is starting to disappear and the reality of him not coming back is hurting me more than anything i have tried to be so strong for everyone when deep down i want to shout and scream and just cry i am crying an awful lot lately but trying to hide it as i have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and i go to the cemetary everyday if i can its his birthday coming up on saturday too he would have been 32 and its all just getting to me i try and be strong for his family as i no they are too in pain well his dads side as i get on really well with them but i havent heard from his mothers side as he never really got on with his mother and when i thought i would be nice and take the kids to see her she told me she didnt want to see me and just blamed me for it i still havent had a date for the inquest i am thinking about him every minute of the day surely nothing could have been that bad that he had to take his precious life away i know we were going through a rocky patch but what couple doesnt i just want to see him again and no i dont mean i am going to take my life i just want the chance to see him i miss him
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