people have told me to move on too. My dad died when I was 16, 15 months later my brother committed suicide that Christmas my grandmother died from cancer and the following april my other grandma died. my husband is away as he is incarcerated. Yeah, people tell me it was so long ago I need to move on and that I just need to accept Jason is in prison and be happy. I'm like yeah thanks, maybe all i needed was a little support!

That is right!!!!!!!!! All we need is a little support! You go!!!!!!!!!! hahaha

I have faced the fact that some people just do not grieve like others. It amazes me how some can go on right away like nothing has happened, and I still cry everyday. I hold my tongue a lot, but I do have some close friends who understand and still let me talk about it without complaining. I just do not have the energy to get upset with people that are ignorant. My sister took her life 6 months before my mother passed from cancer. I lost 2 VERY close friends 6 months after that to cancer (DAMN CANCER). I am really sorry for your loss and that people are not being more understanding to your feelings........I am glad you are here, we all understand and support you, for as long as you need.....

yes hon I get tired of hearing that same thing, anyone that has not lost a loved one to suicide has no clue the pain it leaves on you,you fell mad, angry hurt and the hurt never goes away, and until they go thru it themselves they have no clue, when someone dies of natural causes you expect it, or a sudden death it hurts but when someone takes thier own life it is so much different to handle, hugsss to you and what I tell ppl when they tell me to just move on is dont tell me what to do cause until you been in my shoes dont say a word and they usally shut up right away

It's amazing to me how many cold people there are in this world, and as Lillybird said, just plain ignorant. I used to let them get to me, but I am getting better at ignoring them and considering the source. If you truly love someone, you cannot simply "get over it." To me, people who use those words don't know what true love is.

I totally agree with everyone else - if the person has not experienced what you are going through, they have no clue. And their words ring flat when they say something ignorant to you. My family and I still talk about a son lost 15 years ago. We cope by keeping him in our thoughts and conversations. But with this death by suicide (just 2 months, 15 days ago), my oldest son - people are even more ignorant about what to say. I always tell people who make comments that show they don't understand, that they should feel lucky they don't have to go through this. And I will do all it takes to cope with this and go on living. They won't understand but I think we survivors need to enlighten them - so they help not hinder us. always, Shirley

One "dear friend" said he "needed a break" from listening to "it." He wasn't being mean, really. It was a reminder to me to keep my mouth shut more (I tend to talk a lot when stressed). You are right, there is no timeline. If I think too much about it, emotions rush to the surface. Although I may be able to "move on" it's going to take a long time to overcome the emotional challenge.

I choose to ignore the IGNORANT!! I am simply more careful of the people I chose to open up to, which are my family...and my wonderful DS friends. Hugs, ~Steph

Zydeco hit the nail on the head. Stay away from the ignorant, choose carefully who you share with, and remember too that people don't understand it because they haven't been through it, and it's scary as hell for them. They want us to move on because it scares them. Forgive them their lack of understanding. Your DS friends here get it, and we want to hear about your loved ones for as damn long as you want and need to talk about them. Forever, if that's what's good for you. Wishing you peace.

Chosen1 has explained it so much like I experience things.

I've been pretty strong, early on, but as time goes by, I'm finding more emotions coming to the surface again. And they hit pretty hard.

Last night, as DH and I were going to bed, he realized that I'd been crying very deeply during my bath. I'm sure that he thinks that I've been doing very well for the past few months.
Thankfully, he just reached out and gave me a hug. No advice to tell me how to feel or not feel. He just accepted that I was feeling.

I love him for that. He has no idea how to feel over the loss of a parent to suicide. But he's at least opting to let me handle things my own way.

God bless you too, Kelly. These holiday seasons are everything that others have warned about....tender times.

Whoever it was that coined that phrase to "move on" should be flogged with a sock full of pennies. I can "move on" when I have a bad day at work, or "move on" when I pay a lot at the dentist. "Move on" from losing someone? What Hallmark reject thought that was a good thing to say? As for that, I think it's something people say to dismiss the uncomfortable subject, a way of extricating themselves from addressing their emotions. People like you and I are more in touch with our emotions now that we've had them tested to a point of torment. For us, feeling those pangs happen all the time. I guess in a way I know what you're going through with your husband, because mine doesn't understand my emotions either. I don't get into the deep hurt with him because he hasn't felt it like I do. I have to accept that in him and thank God I have others to fall back on for that. Maybe someday you'll find someone, a friend or a coworker, who has had something affect them so deeply too. Try not to hold it against your husband, he's a different person than you are. I guess we just have to feel out in a person what they can handle, and take it from there.

13 years ago my brother comited suiside, my neice was killed in an auto crash, i lost my husband to cancer, and my dad died. Last year my house was distryoed by a teenager with my brothers odd name and looked so much like him. sent me off the edge again. I know axactly where your coming from. To much lose to close together , you dont have time to grive the first before the next. my best advise is find someway of cooping with these feelings, dont austrizise them. No one can move on untill the emotions are delt with not egnored.

My ex just killed himself 31 days ago my kids hate it that i can't let him go he was not their father.They tell me he was cruel destroyed my life.The first 5 years were rough we were both drunks and he beat me alot.i understand why they hate him but that was 30 years ago. When will they let it go.i put him in prison for 2 years for my last beating he got sober so did i and he became my best friend and we still loved each other.I would meet him places.All i want is one more kiss a touch a conversation.He used a very powerful gun that literally took his head off and now thats all i can see.i can't move on yet how can i be expected too.

I was with my husband for 18 years and i left him 7 months ago. He commited suicide as he couldn't handle that i'd moved on. He only died less than 3 weeks ago and my mum is acting like he never existed - because i was no longer with him i was critisized a week ago for being a bit moody! I've also been critisized that the kids have had time off school - they are 3, 6, and 16. I am dreading Christmas as i'll certainly be expected to be "over it" by then! I havent even started grieving - i have bipolar and that has taken over instead giving me hours of crying, the funeral is on Thursday and that is when i think it will hit me! This is something that will stay with me forever - i dont think moving on is an option! Love and hugs to all of you. xx