Im 17 and when I was only 8 months old my father committed sucide. No one told me till I was about 8. My mother and father hadnt been married. My mother worked her ass off to support for the three of us. My father was a big drug abuser, crack, herione anything you name it. He would steal from my mom and when she was pregnant he even kicked her in the stomach, thinking she would have a miscarriage. It has been said that my father didnt want a child. When he was 16 he got a girl pregnant but the mother gave her up for adoption. My mother and grandparents say he loved me very much but it was also said that he killed himself because he didnt want to be a bad father. His father (my grandpa) was a alcoholic and wasnt a good father at all to my dad and his 2 sisters, he ruined his marriage with my grandma and apparently the day my dad died he gave my aunt a letter saying to watch over me ( which she doesnt she doesnt know how to cope) and that he didnt want to be a horrible father like his dad was. My father went and stole my step grandmas car went to a train station and killed himself. My grandparents from my fathers side didnt talk or pay any attention to my mom and his funeral. They were barely there for me either. A week later my mom found out she was pregnant with my brother. My dads side wasnt there till me and my brother were about 5 & 4. I have been blamed and sometimes I do. Its been almost 18 years and it still does bother me. and I cant talk about it to my family because my mom tells me bad things he did to her, and my grandpa cant handle talking about him. sorry for writing so much
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