My son James took his life four weeks today. He was 23. I miss him so much. We spoke daily and whenever he was with us he always gave a hug and a kiss on the cheek (this I miss the most). We all work at Horseracing track and own racehorses. Things are not the same for us without James he was a huge part of family. Even the horses know he is gone. I believe my son left us due to a broken heart. He was the type to give all of himself with whatever he did Life and Love. I really dont know what to say. I believe that I am still numb and I just want him back. I have lots of questions that I know will never be answered. I saw him the night before at a BBQ and had no idea that I would never see him again. When I left he gave the same hug and kiss as usual and said he would see me the next day. I don't know what happened between that moment and when he made his choice to leave but I do know that he was in too much pain to know that he had so many people that loved him that he could have called. I know that he is in no pain now and I will see him again someday. But I miss him and the "I love yous" and the hugs.
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