Good morning honey, I think that is the perfect way to put it, so many people feel that their loved ones did it to hurt us when really they are in so much more pain than we ever thought of being in they see no other way out. My brother always said we would be better without all the trouble he caused all these years and I always told him, I would freak out if he did it, they really have no idea of the magnitude of the after math of what they are about to do. Of course my brother had help from one of the most addictive drugs out there to help him on his mission, but none the less, I really believe they have no idea the pain they are about to cause because they are in so much pain. Thankyou , Kel

My views have changed so much since my sister lost her life to suicide, I say it that way because in my heart I know she was sick, just as if it was any other disease. In saying that, no, I do not feel it is a choice made by rational thinking. I can not begin to say I understand my sisters pain, but it must have been unbearable to leave her daughter and family that cared for her so.

In my opinion, anyone who is sick enough to take their own life is incapable of making choices, and that is the problem;they truly feel like they have no other choice, because their pain is so intense. I know one thing, my brother would never have left us if he felt he had a so called choice. Thankfully, we are not in their shoes, so we have no idea the pain they were in. With that said, I would like to say that my heart goes out to all of you who have lost someone to suicide; I know how much it hurts.
~~~~HUGS~~~~
donna

i can only speak for my self,i believe my sister did make a choice weeks before her death ,her pain and suffering seemed so overwhelming to her ,this led to her decision , it was planned to the smallest detail that she would succeed,i know SHE CHOSE to be free of pain,as much as it hurts me to miss her, i admire her courage to go where she could be truly happy and at peace.

I have to say I believe it IS a choice but that doesn't mean its a "rational" choice. Those who do this consider it there LAST choice and see no other way out. For them the pain and struggle escalate to a no-return point. They see nothing positive ahead. Sometimes certain people contemplate their demise. Others - its spur of the moment. With my son - he had time to think clear enough to get the gun, load the gun, drive to a location and make his appearance. I'd have to say YES he made a choice...but through more pain than he could be rescued from. A brokenheart over a girl too selfish to think how much he loved her and what her cheating on him...after plans to marry...would ultimately do. However...he DID chose to end his life and gave himself NO other options.

I read "rational suicide is an oxymoron" - I know my son wasn't in his normal state of mind. If he had been, he never would have done it and leave us all, especially his young wife and two sons. At that moment, he was definitely irrational and not the person we knew/loved. Though he made that "choice" at that minute, he was not himself. always, Shirley

I believe it's a thought manifested at a crucial breaking point. Yes, action is a result of choice regardless of the "soundness" of the decision. Hindsight is 20/20. In my case, I saw preparation in the month preceding but never thought he was the "type".

I have to agree with those who feel that it's a choice, to some extent, though the choice is not made rationally. With Mom, though she was sick, she definitely made the choice.

I don't believe it is a choice. Maybe for some, it was choice. I know your situation and you know mine...IT WAS NOT A CHOICE...A choice to me would be to have had a plan in place, life insurance papers on the table, telling someone you are going to kill yourself, giving your possesions away, etc. Michael never moved from where his gun was...in the walk in closet behind the door...and that is where his body was laying. I saw the carpet cut out where he was and I will never get that imagine out of my mind. Choice, not a choice my baby would have made in a million years!!! Love ya bunches,
~Steph

Yes and no. It's a choice for some because it's the one thing left they feel they have any control of. They're choosing to leave over choosing to stay in an unbearable world. But then, for some, maybe it's not a "choice", but the only possibility remaining, that there are no other acceptable options.

My ex just killed himself 30 days ago.He made a choice because it was planned notes left to everyone.But i still love him i always will i know at that minute he was not in his right mind.So maybe a choice by a very depressed mind. kalei

suiside is a choice made when the soul is hurting so much its bleeding, and the pain is so unemaginable to other people, you are no longer able to look past now and cant see that any thing will ever get better. I came acroos this. it might help you to know what desperation feels like.
The bleeding soul

The deepest wound a life can bear,
Not broken hart nor body failed,
Mere mortal pain a wee compare,
No human comfort can be hailed,
No ones aware, the broken soul.

The feeble form blows in the wind
Spews its blood from every gash
Its anguish rousing no defence
Lays helpless in the living trash
Blind eyes mask the wounded soul.

The torrid sobs; the grieving cries
Suffrage, by no means, unrelenting
Unheard, unnoticed by passer bys
Raging spasms desperate venting
Deaf ears muffle the weeping soul

The world goes on as years do pass
Still its broken; forever needing
Watching life through fogging glass
Not forgotten where its speeding
Ghosts pass through the lonely soul

The vision dead and long gone away
Sadly too the things it use to do
Too weary to imitate one more day
Tending wounds, beyond it too
Death ignores the bleeding soul[/font]

Artistout

In my sister's case, it appeared that she had planned her suicide at least a few days ahead of time, perhaps even weeks. She broke her regular routine of having Mom visit, and, instead, she stayed home alone and labeled her special belongins, left notes for some of us with certain things she wanted us to have; she left histories and medical info on her pets; left a note for Sheriff Deputies and included a photo of herself and her driver's license for identification, then called 911 before shooting herself. She decided to do this, so I guess it was her choice, but I think of it as saying "that's it I give up!" after nothing seemed to end her depression and bipolar disease - she was seeing a psychiatrist, taking medications, supported by friends, neighbors and family, but, to her, life was too painful and she just wanted to stop the pain.

I think that is so very true. My dad was in pain physically and emotionally for years. He was not himself or he would never have done this. I don't think he had a clue in his state of mind that all of his family would be so crushed by his actions. He loved us very much and wouldn't have hurt us for anything. I just wish I could have done something to stop him.

my sister had no choice she had to go. The past 6 months have been hell for me but i no she has not been hit or abused all this time. and its the longest time she hasnt cried i cry every day knowing that she hasnt does that make scence i hope so emma