Hello, My name is Ana. I'm 18 years old. Im here because I have attempted suicide and I would like to share my story. I am a very scared child and I never thought I could take my own life, I guess thats why I started drinking, I'd hoped that over time I would just kill my liver. I thought about suicide almost everyday, and I still do. About two months ago I tried to end my life again by drinking and taking asprin. People usually ask why or what goes through someone's mind. In my case, all I could think and feel was sadness and pain. The pain that I caused those around me and the sadness when I thought that I was never enough and that they (the people I love) deserved better than me. I wasn't thinking about their pain or sadness, but I was thinking of their happiness and freedom from the burden of me. Thankfully my plan failed and I woke up the next morning. However, I was not happy, I realized that I could not survive the way I am living for long. So, I like to think that I got yet another chance to try to get help and find happiness in my life so that I could share it with others. I have sought out psychiatric help because there is something keeping me from getting better, I do choose to live but I still think of suicide almost everyday but it is my hope that I will never act on it again. Sometimes life seems too hard and dying always seems easier. The difference I think between living and dying is that although living maybe tough, it can always get better. It is my hope that one day i'll be content and happy with myself. And my heart goes out to all the families and friends that have lost a loved one, I hope that you and the person that died can find peace.
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