I understand the paon you are going thru, and hope you just ask God for guidance,, thats who I go to when I am having really bad days and I know how hard it is to lose someone cause I lost my finacee 3 mos ago and it feels like it is yeaterday, but please when you are posting something please keep the bad language down to a nice level as all the people on here and here to help you and alot trust in God for thier help also, hugss to you

I'm very sorry about your sister. I lost my brother to suicide also, and it is so very hard to take. We were best buddies too. My heart goes out to you. Take care!

Flinchy,
How are you doing today?

I just saw your post and I understand your anger. When my dad drowned in a pool, I wanted to be far far away from God. But like these others that answered you just let go and let god is a little difficult until you feel you can trust him. We all have choices. Nobody is forced to do anything here except death and taxes as they say.
Look if you need to talk to someone and need to vent you can send me a personal message. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my little brother years ago and I still hurt for him. Take it easy and one day at a time or one hour at a time.
And my husband lost his best friend /his brother so it happens to a lot of us. We are here to support each other.

I understand. I am coming up on the first six months three days before Christmas! Just surround yourself with love. It has helped me tremendously!

Remember your sister's love for you, and that she would not want you to hate yourself. You must take it easy on yourself and treat yourself as if ill, because you are sick with grief, I know.

My guy shot himself in July. I can't believe it's Christmas soon, because I feel like I missed all of July, August, September. I'm stuck 3 months behind. I went through, and finished/survived, a full-fledged depression, I miss him all the time, but I promise you, you will feel better. I wish you peace.

I understand your anger and pain...you will go through all sorts of feelings in the months to come..I have..When things seem impossible tho, I give it to God..and it gets me through the day.. That is all we can do, get through one day at a time.. Take care of yourself.. dinahlee

Why is a question that never will be answered, face up to that. Being mad at God is one of the natural steps in the grief process. Dont drive yourself crazy trying to find out why, just accept it. Remember fools will give you reasons why wise people know not to.