I am doing a charity walk in rememberance of my sister this weekend. I am flying my niece (my sisters daughter) in from TN to walk along with my friends and I. I am very excited to do this, I want to honor my sister so much for all she was! I have been a bit of a ^*%^*& the last couple of days, and I guess it is the closer to time the more scared I get. I just know I am going to break down and I have not for sometime. I really want to be strong for my niece, we are very close, and lord knows, no matter how hard my sister's death was on me, it much be 100 times harder for her. I have a real hard time controlling my emotions about it, I try real hard not to think about it all the time. I am really wishing this walk will be sort of cleaning and healing for us, we shall see.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??