I lost my boyfried of 4 years to suicide on Oct. 6th. I miss him so very much - I am empty, broken hearted, angry and sad. What I do realize is that the monster of depression (he was bipolar) and alcohol combination gave him the ticket to end his life. He was loving, caring and a beautiful person who from the outside was perfectly happy. I knew better - I saw the agony and constant pain he would suffer. His eyes told the story of a wonderful man who lost his battle with something that he thought was bigger than him. His parents have each other to lean on for support and comfort but I find myself alone. What I mean is I have many supportive friends but no one really seems to understand the depth of emotion and hurt I am experiencing. I never know from day to day what I may feel - all I know is I loved him and I wish he could have taken a look into the future to see just how much he would be missed. Please keep me in your prayers.