This saturday will be 3 weeks since my best friend; which is a guy tried to commit suicid. I will tell u about my story and maybe someone can help me understand him a little better. First off my best friend and I live in different towns and this has been a diffcult summer for both of us. He is only 17 years old and in his last year of high school. So I guess I will start by saying that it was like any other friday; he decided at the last minute that he didnt wan to come over so I left it go and the last time I talked to him was 7:30pm on Friday. Well i went out to my moms to babysit for her; I tried to call him a couple times but no one answered so I figured he went to sleep or went to this party is friend was having. So I went to a friends house for the weekend and i wouldnt be able to talk to him; well friday night i went on the paper route with my friend. On saturday morning about 9:30 my mom shows up at my friends house and wakes me up out of a dead sleep; she told me to get my things i was going wit her. I asked her what was wrong and thats when she told me that my best friend had taken a whole bunch of pills and was being life flighted to pittsburgh. I went inside and told my friend that i had to leave and as soom as i went to tell her i started to cry thats when it sank in that it was all real. So I went wit my mom to her house. Once there i called my friends dad and he told me what his son had done. I sat around all day saturday waiting to hear from his parents but about 5 i asked my mom if i could go for a drive to clear my head; she said i could so i left. When i came back about an hour and a half later my mom told me that his mom called and she wanted to talk to me. So I called his mom back and she told me over the fone that the doctors didnt look for him to make it. Thats when my mom decided to drive me to pittsburgh to see him. When i got there and i saw him the bed i didnt see all the wires all i saw was my friend laying there sleeping. I stayed at the hospital with his parents that night. His dad n i sat up all night talking about his son and what kind of person i was. On sunday i rode back with his dad to his house to take care of the dogs that when he found the notes that his son had left. There was 4 of them and 1 was left for me; it was the last one he wrote before he did anything. Basically in his note he left everything to me including his dog. He also told me that he loved me and i should never change for anyone. Anyways his family and i went home on sunday; i had to do paperwork for a new job on monday but as soon as i was done i was going to go to the hospital to be wit my friend. When i was all done with the paperwork i went to my grandparents house and i called his moms cell. Thats when she told me he was awake by some miracle he pulled thru it all. I spent the next 3 days at the hospital with him and his family. Im glad to say that he is home and doing so much better but he still might have liver cancer cause of all the pills he took. So as long as i live i will never forget August 22, 2009. What i need is help with understand and dealing with the feeling that he dont really care that i was there and why did he leave everything to me and say those things if he dont mean them? He even dont know why he said those things..... so please help me?
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