my dad commited suicide in 1997 and it still effects me today,he came to see me at work the day before he died and wanted to talk,but wasnt upset and seemed fine, being a nurse at the time,i couldnt stop to chat as it was so busy that morning,i said to him i would come over to visit him the next day,and he was fine with that to,i said i was sorry i couldnt stop to chat to him but i would see him the next day,i kissed him bye and went back to work...it to be the last time i ever saw him alive again,he gassed himself in the car early the next morning,the guilt i have over that day never ever goes away...every fathers day,his birthday ,christmas,....i had therapy over the years,it helps for the short term.i have a gambling addiction and i get anxiety and depression,i often wonder if all these things are associated,and if things were differrent would i have been to????
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