So... I just found this site this morning and I've barely navigated my way through it, but I want to post something. What drove me to find this site this am was frustration. I'll try my best to not get too caried away with my rant... I'm a 35 year old single/divorced father. I have full custody of my 5 year old son. I was awarded full custody @ the beginning of May, following a 3-yr custody/divorce battle. My relationship w/ his mother is horrible. I was undergoing a 3 mo. chemo treatment in Dec. '08 when, on x-mas, my Mom found me on my back on her back porch w/ blood coming from my mouth - I'd had my first grand mal seizure (marry x-mas) & then learned that the little "episodes" I'd been having for 3 yrs, (at that time) which I couldn't find a doc w/ the ability to diagnose, where auras/partial seizures - or whatever else another doc may call them. After that, I had grand mals about 1 mo apart for 3 mo, then about every 6 mo. or so for a while. Had 1 at work once, on an airplane (that blew), etc.. My son has found me @ 6 am during/directly after a couple of times w/ blood coming out of my mouth & completely non-responsive -- GREAT thing for a 4 or 5 year old to see. Anyhow... I haven't driven in almost 2 years, my boy attends a school which requires he & I to use the city busses to get to & fro (no school bus, we live outside boundaries - he goes there because he has 2 bros who go there & I want him around them as much as possible), I was laid-off over a year ago (not related to condition - too bad, could have used $ from a law suit), & now live with my Mom. I'm 35, can't drive, really can't work, full-time dad, son plays sports, have epilepsy... I can't get myself & my boy to & from anything. If I want to do anything social, my friends (or, god forbid, my date) have to pick me up, take son somewhere to be watched, then pick up son when we are done, then bring us home. I won't ask people to do that. I'm tired of it. I won't even try to make new friends. I'm really outgoing socially, but I won't go any further into a conversation with someone I don't know than talking about the weather. I'm flat-out embarrassed about where I am in life & I don't see any way to make it better. I'm working on a new degree so I have something that is worthwhile, but that is a long way off, I don't remember the last time I actually tried to get a date - I just have zero self esteem and it has so much to do with my condition and the fact that I'm totally frozen in place by it - at least for now. My goddam head spins from it. Oh yeah - & my COBRA from my last job has 1 1/2 mo. left on it. So I'm about out of insurance too. Is it time to expatriate?
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