I dont have the worst epilepsy out there, to some of you my case would probably seem tame. But to me its so hard. My whole life I have been big, strong, and unafraid, but now I live in constant fear. I havent had a grand mal in a long time, but recently I woke up in the middle of the night to uncontrolled muscle spasms throughout my body. Since then I have only left my apartment for absolute necessities. I go to class, and I sit in fear, I go to the grocery store and I walk in terror. I feel broken, and I feel like a coward. I ignore my phone and I avoid my friends. I dont want to be weak in front of them...This disease runs my life, and I dont know how to take it back.
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As I sit here this morning in the pre-dawn hours and write these thoughts, I am reminded of how my wife would often wake up early to send me a text,or a link, or an I love you note that I would see when I woke up.Today is day 61 without my love of my life. I am learning to cope, and trying heal but this is truley a walk through Hell. I try to honor my wife by staying strong, but at times I feel...
I was diagnosed with Temporal Lobe Epilepsy a couple of days ago. Apparently the Deja vu and nausea episodes I have been having for the last 7 years or so are actually seizures. Thankfully, because I have only ever had focal aware seizures I am allowed to keep my licence. However I am struggling to come to terms with the diagnosis. It doesn't really seem real. I'm interested to know how others...