I am in severe pain. I spent 5 hours in hospital today... i have pressure and pain on my right side near my ovaries... i also have a very intense overbearing pain in the right side of my lower back. it feels bruised to the touch. doctor sent me for external and internal ultrasound and a cat scan to look for endo and kidney stone. ultrasound was for ruptured cyst.. and a urine culture for bladder infection. i am scared and i am in pain. she does not believe in pain meds and i am unable to sleep because the pain is unbearable. i know that all of us on here are hurting on a constant basis and we are mostly positive and support of one another and able to stay positive about ourselves. today my endo has won. and many days before today. i am sad, hopeless, and honestly debated just driving off a bridge to end the pain and suffering. (only a thought). not something i could ever do. i need to stay positive but i have given up. my doctor says if these tests show nothing tomorrow then the only thing she can do for me is physical therapy. i am debating a hysterectomy, a full one. i am tired of being on lupron and femara and anti anxiety drugs and added horomones and ruining my body in other ways from these drugs. i have a disease that will never go away and will continue to rule my life until there is nothing left for me to do but completely give up. i need help. i cant stop crying. i have a lot of support from friends and family and i want to be ok. i want to not worry that in the morning the pain will be worse than the day before or praise the days that i actually can function semi-normal. not possible cause of hot flashes and mood swings. i am rambling but i need help. i need hope. i have lost all hope. i have given up. i want to end the pain. i want to end it now. what do i do?
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