Endometriosis Support Group

Endometriosis is a common medical condition where the tissue lining the uterus is found outside of the uterus, typically affecting other organs in the pelvis. The condition can lead to serious health problems, primarily pain and infertility. A major symptom of endometriosis is pain, mostly in the lower abdomen, lower back, and pelvic area.

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/ Endometriosis Support Group

Sex

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend of 3 and a half years. When I am not in pain sex can be great. But literally most of the time it is still painful to a degree. I love my boyfriend incredibly but he is one of those guys that wants sex in the morning and at night. He honestly seems to not be able to get enough. I know he loves me but it seems to be affecting him that I do not want to have sex as much as him because of the pain. He is understanding and will stop if it is too painful but I feel like it might be hurting our relationship a bit. I have a history of sexual abuse and he knows that and he is sensitive to it all but I feel like he thinks I am not attracted to him. I just don't feel up to it because of the pain and my own poor self image because of the bloating. I told him just because I don't want to have sex I still love him and he was like....ok...and I said because that is the way he makes me feel. It really bothers me, plus I have IBS so I need advice. I really need support and other people that have this to give me feedback asap. I feel depressed just thinking about it. Thanks for reading this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
For those of us that have pain with intercouse, this situation is very common. My husband still feels hurt and frusterated at times and is scared to be intimate with me now that I've told him just how much it hurts me, during and days afterwards. I feel bad and have struggled with this as well. But when it comes down to it; this is your body, this is how it is reacting right now. Just try to be as open and honest about it with him and leave him the opportunity to ask questions, make comments, say nothing...whatever it takes to keep this topic as free and clear of negativity as possible. There are things that may help you in this as well. Try not to get too upset about it. I know that it can be difficult. Just know that you are not alone. HUGS!
deleted_user
deleted_user
at first my husband was a little worried, thinking it was something about him personally. Maybe try taking him with you to one of your Doctor appointments so he can fully understand this. I don't want to be to forward or personal, but you can always try giving him oral sex and or a hand job. When i'm in to much pain for intercourse and I know that my hubby is really wanting it, I treat him by popping in a porn and giving him oral or a hand job. He enjoys it just as much as intercourse if not more. Because he doesn't have to do anything but sit back and enjoy. But really try talking to him more, and maybe taking him to the next appointment and try my suggestions. Who knows that might just help your man too!
Christine1976
Christine1976
I am not in a great position to give advice on this subject as I am not in a relationship and haven't had much sex since having endo. But it is painful for me as well. I don't mean to get too personal either but since you brought this up I hope it's ok to just talk freely! Intercourse itself is pretty painful for me...but I find that I have more abdomenal pain for sometimes the whole next day after having an orgasm. Have you tried lots of positions? For me, the deeper he goes the more painful for me....so me being on top or side by side can make it some what better. It always hurts though. This really sucks doesn't it!!!! I;m very sorry for you!! I hope though that your boyfriend will be sympathetic and supportive. I agree...take him to an appt. But also give him some info to read. I know a lot of my friends just do not get it...no matter what I tell them...but I have had some of them read some books I liked and it seemed to help.
I hope things get better for you!
Christine
deleted_user
deleted_user
These girls seemed to have already given the best advice. I also have the worst pain during and after sex. It has gotten to the point where I just can't do it anymore, or I just don't want it. My boyfriend seems to be very understanding, but he is a very sexual person and has needs, too. It then in turn makes me depressed thinking that I can't please him the way I know he wants. I actually did talk him into going to my next appointment with me so he can really understand - not just the physical pain - but the emotional crap we have to put up with because these doctors are as clueless as to what in the hell they can do to help fix this. Best of luck to you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel your pain! I have not had sex with my DH since October. I had surgery in late November and we are now counting down the days till we can have nookie! Endo is very hard on a couple. I agree with what others have said about other ways to please your man. I also think that you need to have a talk with him. My DH and had been dating for 6 months when I was dx, and I had a talk with him then about my Endo. I told him, if you want children, then you might not want to stay with me, I have an incurable disease, so we will have dry spells and medical issues, so you might not want to stay with me. I laid it all out on the table and let him decide if being with me is worth making those sacrifices. Sometimes it helps men process things, when you lay it all out. I hope this helps and good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Have you tried being intimate with your boyfriend in other ways besides sex? Maybe taking a warm bath together or giving him a massage will help him to feel close to you when you aren't up to having sex.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had pain during & after sex for years, even putting in a tampon was total agony this was before diagnosis of endo, during my first surgery my gynae sugeon did a LUNA, which involves severing the nerve that goes from the the base of your uterus / cervix to your spine, I've never had pain again!
deleted_user
deleted_user
ooops.... P.s. during sex that is!
Other than that I totally agree with the others, there's lots of ways to pleasure a man, get inventive, go to some of the websites that sell sex toys & try a few, there's far more sex toys for a man's pleasure now than there used to be. Most men love porn, but some find it very embarrassing to talk to their partner's about it. Find what he likes, but remember if has to be something that doesn't turn you off.
Christine1976
Christine1976
I can't use tampons either...it is SO painful!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ok, so this is what I have found works for my husbands overactive sex drive: I get massages to relax me, he gets oral sex, "humping time," or sex on a rotation basis. Gives me a break. Also, if I am more relaxed, sex doesn't hurt as much. And you can never have too much lubrication!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I could never use tampons either, used to be so bloody painful, just gave up on them!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sex has always been painful, but seemed to get worse the older I got.
Freightened now, has myself and my husband have not made love since last June, due to Laparopsy surgery in July and Hysterctomy in January this year.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well i just got into a relationship and i made a point to tell him inadvance i wasnt the person on the inside i was when we went to school together. See this guy has known me since i was in high school and i was well back then and we exchanged passes and words and now that we are dateing i feel just as you do. All we can do is try to talk with the men in our lifes and hope they inderstand. Try giveing him "pleasure" and tell him that sex isnt an option as of right now. Tell him when yu feel up to sex you will let him know and just make sure you pay him alot of atttention. Its all we can really do to comfort them. Hope this helps and feel free to message me if you need further advice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I go through this all the time. My husband is a sex pheine. He is understandable and will stop also. U ARE NOT ALONE !! This is a very sensitive subject for all of us. I know myself that when it hurst IT HURTS!!! You just want to cry and it is so depressing. If you've made it 3.54 years with him then he must be a little understanding right ? :) I can't offer to much advice but this is the shitty part of endo. I'm sorry that you go through this too !
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi There,
My name is Nicky and I had endometriosis for many years. It has gone now but I still have it in my bowel, and I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome as well which is a pain and very annoying. Even though I have had a Hysterectomy I still have pain when I have sex and that is because I have hormone inplant and when that starts to run out I get really frustrated and angry and it hurts with sex, my husband would like it alot but I will tell you what can help and that is a lubricant cream and if you put that inside you and on him it is fantastic and that might help you and is good for him. That is what me and my husband use all the time. You can get it from Ann Summers shop. It is fantastic and that helps me as I always am sore down below. If you would like any more information then just ask me and I will find the name of it for you.

Nicky
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