It is hard to give into the fact that my mother was behind my emotional abuse which went well into my adult life. Even when I get away from her, she tracks me down. Being the child of a Narcissist is a hard place to be. They will never change. I finally decided that with my new therapist that it is time to get out of he clutch. I had past therapists but like my last one said, I went for maintenance and spent most of the sessions talking about other people's problems. I still hear her and answer to everyone of my disorders because of her. You can pray for this kind of person but they will never change. My last therapist said that she was the captain of the the ship bringing all of the other abuse into my life. I feel like a loser that I was not able to handle it. I still have that pride thing going on. I am a man. Why can't I take care of this? I am an artistic man so I think that is where I let my feelings out. One thing I always have to remind myself of is "I may be a man now but I was a little boy when it started." Actually I was a baby by some of the things she has mentioned in my adult life. I just don't remember it that early on.
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