You'll always been fighting the fight, yes. But- here's the catch. By getting some therapy and medical help on your side, and enlisting family and friend support, you can make the fight less difficult.

Your age doesn't come into play when it comes to the ED- it affects everyone, for massive amounts of time, until you reach out and work on getting it "under control." You are doing the right thing by admitting this, so now admit it to a therapist you feel comfortable with. Don't feel comfortable with the therapist? Move on after two sessions.

I understand that we don't slay this demon forever we just mortally wound him again nad again. I am 44 years old and this disease is very different then when I was a teen and it was about image and looking good. It isn't about a size or shape anymore. It is about a disorder in my mind that makes my thought process different then others. I call Ed "anorexic schziopherneia". It is like having a whol;e seperate being living in my head and controlling not only my thoughts but my actions too.
My life seems to be consumed by food thoughts and behaviors, preoccupation... I start thinking about restricting before I even get up in the morning. Ed is my first and last thought of the day. this is unlike any battle I have ever waged. but I know with out going to war with Ed I will certainly die.
Eating out and or eating with people other then my family is really hard. When I eat with my family someone else in in charge of making my plate, at resturants I share something with my husband other wise I binge and then purge. I have faith in my doctors, therapists and support group that I will recover and have a great future.
I love food. I have been a gourmet cook most of my adult life . My mother was a caterer so we always had excellent food. Now all food is the enemy. I battle this daily. I just said in group last night I hate this F--king disorder. I want to eat like normal people. I am already fretting about the holidays I am looking forward to cooking for my family yet the thought of having to eat makes me sick.
I didn't mean to babble on but thanks for letting me share. I hope this helps you realize we are all more similar then different.

We are living with a chronic illness, really, and it needs to be managed on a day-to-day basis. That's what I believe anyways...there is no cure YET, just like there's no cure for other chronic disorders/diseases.

I agree that EDs change our thought processes and make our thinking "different" than others. I'm 40 now, and I too see that the face of my EDs have changed (since I was a teenager,) but all the crazy ED thoughts are STILL THERE, only I process & react to them differently these days.

I would love to see a cure for this in my lifetime, but until then, it's one-day-at-a-time.

You probably will fight it the rest of your life, but you don't have to do it alone. We are all here for you, and maybe you could join a support group in your town. Send me a message if ya ever need to talk.

I think ED will always be in your head and try to spoil your joy for a meal. But I believe that his voice can become more quiet over time with therapy and that you will be able to tell him to get the hell away from you while you're eating.

I'm still fighting the demon, taking it one day at a time. There isn't a cure for an eating disorder, but there is healing. I know many people who have trusted in God for strength and trusted Him with their recovery. They have found freedom from guilt, shame, and obsession. They no longer turn to the ED, they turn to God in its place. It's not hopeless, and you're not doomed to suffer forever. Philipians 4:6-13

I believe you will be able to fight this and win, I believe in you! Its not easy, but it can be done. Dont lose hope.

I am 52 and have been fighting anorexia all my life. I call anorexia " The Silent Killer"i am currenlt 15 poundsI guess over weight it feels more like 50 right now i am fighting the urge to stop eatting its a on going battle good luck

I got so sick of it! I went to inpatient treatment when I was 44. I fall on my face sometimes, but it's so much better than it used to be. XOXO

Sometimes this diesease is very active, and some days its dormant. Dormant days are awesome! But in the end.. once a cucumeber becomes a pickle it cant become a cucumber again. (no pun intended.) all my best.