Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I feel so disgusting, i want to tear the fat off my body, i've been bingeing for 4 days and am now going back to restricting. I hate the fact that i binge and don't purge,why?! Why when it makes me feel soooo bad do i not get rid of it, i hate myself!!! I feel so repulsive and greedy and long to feel the comfort of bones and hunger. My mood is so low and i'm getting really intrusive thoughts about self harm and suicide. I've been trying to keep myself busy by doing things round the house,speaking to family on the phone just about random things to try and keep my mind busy, i feel like i can't turn my head off and i'm thinking and feeling so much and it's so relentless. AAAARRGGHHHHH!!!!!! I keep thinking if i hadn't binged then my mood would be better because at least i wouldn't feel as repulsed and would feel more able to cope with my thoughts and feelings. I feel so scared and alone and don't know what to do to get through.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
i never had the answers for myself either..except that maybe i was lonely and feeling sad...take care
i also binge eat between bouts of restrictive dieting, and at this very moment am struggling to come to terms with myself following a binge last night and a binge this afternoon after over a week of not bingeing (a big deal for me).
I know it's relentless trying to turn your mind away from what it really wants to do (binge) but it's important to be strong. you WILL get yourself through this if you really get your mind in gear. do you have a close friend you can talk to about it, like how recovering addicts have a sponsor? maybe whenever you feel the urge coming on they can talk to you specifically about it and together you can stop yourself from bingeing. perhaps the common diversion tactics (like going for a walk or calling up someone) don't always work because they put off the binge for a while rather than actually addressing the issue. also, i like to think of recovering from an ED like being a heroin addict going cold turkey - it's 4 days of hell, but after that the cravings disappear and you're more or less ok again. unfortunately with EDs everyday is hell and the end of the tunnel isn't in your sights, but the more you stick with it the better you feel about yourself even if it's only a tiny tiny bit happier each day. but i really think it's important to find some way of expressing your feelings so that whenever you feel low you can get it all out instead of tormenting yourself. i like to write in a journal, which in a way cleanses me of all my bad thoughts.
just remember: it will get better if you really want it to, and you're prepared to devote a lot of energy to achieving this.
i hope this helps, and good luck with everything x