Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I was thinking yesterday, and i decided this is very good for everyone to at least try? As we all know, our ed's can become soo powerful, i was thinking to myself it really has to end, this is not me i am not this evil person that i feel and i don't deserve to be put down. I was thinking how great it would be to take my anger out, to ket this ED KNOW I'VE HAD IT!!! AND TO LET IT KNOW WHAT IT HAS OUT ME THROUGH!! SO HERE GOES (LET ME KNOW WHAT U ALL THINK)
:
Dear Ed,
Words can't decribe what you have put me through, but i am going to try.
I am writing this letter on behalf to let you know why i have decided to terminate this friendship. We go back a long ways, you have been my BEST FRIEND for the past 8 years of my life. Ever since puberty set in, from there on it seemed like we practically greW up together. So, you can imsgine how hard it might be to let go of someone so close, most people don't understand. I used to feel like you knre me better than anyone else, better then I knew myself. Then I started THINKING, you must not know me, you must not know the person that i am. Why you ask? That is simple. I you knew the real me you would know that, I 'm not a bad person, i don't deserve to die, i don't deserve to be punished, i do deserve to be sussessful but you never told me that. You never encouraged me to do better or that i was good enough! What kind of FRIEND belittles you in such a manner? When I have wanted to study, when i had wanted to smile and laugh like everyone else you told me i couldn't, that such an ugly, digusting person as myself doesn't deserve to be happy. You would tell me lies, like i was not good enough and noone would appreciate someone of my size. YOU HATED ALL MY REAL FRIENDS AND WOULN'T LET ME SEE HEM ANY LONGER. You said my friends wouldn't like me as much if i had gained some weight. I wasn't allowed to go out, put on nice clothes, get my hair done, or talk to certain people, UNTIL YOU DECIDED, only then if i had succeeded in losing the weight would i be allowed to participate in those activities.
You suck personally!! You are not my friend!! You are my worst enemy!! For many days in my life you told me i was worth it, and put sick thoughts in my head. You told me that starving myself to get skinny is well worth the life of glamour. You made me sick,depressed, and resentful towards myself. you made me believe my mom was crazy and everyone else around me was perfect, so naturally i had to be? How did we meet in the first place? You seemed to otice me when i was at a very vulnerable time in my life, and then you introduced yourself as Ed. From then on you "PRETENDED" to care, pretended to be my friend, because you claimed you understood, you claimed you could make everything better. YOu told me as long as we were friends and I followed your advice and recommendations my life would change, that there would be new meaning to it. Well guess what you can't make those kind of recommendations! You're not a doctor, far from one... You made me hate doctor, you made me hate myself. You're a BACK STABBER!!! You made still make me scared to be alone with myself, because god know what might go wrong. When i walked down hall ways in school or people passed me you wouldn't let me make eye contact because you told me no one would want to see your ugly face, so naturally i had to look towards the ground. At one point you convinced me to go three days without eating just water, WTF? You physically threw me on the ground and made me black out, Who the fuck do you think you are? How could I ever have allowed that? You convinced me to harm myself and my family,no matter what i did to please you to keep you as my friend, was never good enough! I truley hate you but ironically i loved you at the same time. I have to inform you that is changing!! I think i will always remember you and i will always here your voice in my head, god knows how do you forget such a powerful abnoxious voice like yours after all these years? You are crazy. ALTHOUGH, it's still hard and i still can't admit i love my body or my looks,I know i'm not as evil as you make me be, as far as i'm concerned, I was possessed by a demon, and that demon was you. Many times in my life I'd wish I had anything else ( cancer, drug addiction) but your friendship but i couldn't bring myself to confront you, after all you took away all my self worth. You were my addiction, I craved our friendship. You've made me waste all my money to buy into diet books and binges. You made my mom cry and because of you i have had to pay much fees to seek help. They always say you can learn from any experience even a bad one. Well, i guess i can only thank you for a few things out of this very shitty experience. Without you I may have judged others without having empathy towards their feelings, without you i may not be where i am today, i have met many intelligent professionals who have given my great values and friendship, and BECAUSE OF YOU i have figured out what i want to be.I'll never know With or without you if i would be persuing the goal of earning a doctors of Psychology, but it doesn't matter because I WILL!! HAHA I WILL, that is certain and unlike many times in my life, I DON'T NEED YOU, I CAN DO THIS ONE BY MYSELF!!! It may be a struggle but I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG! So, you may hear from me now and then, maybe more of me telling you to fuck off, but i think it is well deserved, since you have been doing a lot of the talking and telling for the past 8 years. So with this, this is my closure to you. i hope you know what that empty and lonely feeling you have made me feel is. Goodbye good riddens, my life will be better off without you!
:
Dear Ed,
Words can't decribe what you have put me through, but i am going to try.
I am writing this letter on behalf to let you know why i have decided to terminate this friendship. We go back a long ways, you have been my BEST FRIEND for the past 8 years of my life. Ever since puberty set in, from there on it seemed like we practically greW up together. So, you can imsgine how hard it might be to let go of someone so close, most people don't understand. I used to feel like you knre me better than anyone else, better then I knew myself. Then I started THINKING, you must not know me, you must not know the person that i am. Why you ask? That is simple. I you knew the real me you would know that, I 'm not a bad person, i don't deserve to die, i don't deserve to be punished, i do deserve to be sussessful but you never told me that. You never encouraged me to do better or that i was good enough! What kind of FRIEND belittles you in such a manner? When I have wanted to study, when i had wanted to smile and laugh like everyone else you told me i couldn't, that such an ugly, digusting person as myself doesn't deserve to be happy. You would tell me lies, like i was not good enough and noone would appreciate someone of my size. YOU HATED ALL MY REAL FRIENDS AND WOULN'T LET ME SEE HEM ANY LONGER. You said my friends wouldn't like me as much if i had gained some weight. I wasn't allowed to go out, put on nice clothes, get my hair done, or talk to certain people, UNTIL YOU DECIDED, only then if i had succeeded in losing the weight would i be allowed to participate in those activities.
You suck personally!! You are not my friend!! You are my worst enemy!! For many days in my life you told me i was worth it, and put sick thoughts in my head. You told me that starving myself to get skinny is well worth the life of glamour. You made me sick,depressed, and resentful towards myself. you made me believe my mom was crazy and everyone else around me was perfect, so naturally i had to be? How did we meet in the first place? You seemed to otice me when i was at a very vulnerable time in my life, and then you introduced yourself as Ed. From then on you "PRETENDED" to care, pretended to be my friend, because you claimed you understood, you claimed you could make everything better. YOu told me as long as we were friends and I followed your advice and recommendations my life would change, that there would be new meaning to it. Well guess what you can't make those kind of recommendations! You're not a doctor, far from one... You made me hate doctor, you made me hate myself. You're a BACK STABBER!!! You made still make me scared to be alone with myself, because god know what might go wrong. When i walked down hall ways in school or people passed me you wouldn't let me make eye contact because you told me no one would want to see your ugly face, so naturally i had to look towards the ground. At one point you convinced me to go three days without eating just water, WTF? You physically threw me on the ground and made me black out, Who the fuck do you think you are? How could I ever have allowed that? You convinced me to harm myself and my family,no matter what i did to please you to keep you as my friend, was never good enough! I truley hate you but ironically i loved you at the same time. I have to inform you that is changing!! I think i will always remember you and i will always here your voice in my head, god knows how do you forget such a powerful abnoxious voice like yours after all these years? You are crazy. ALTHOUGH, it's still hard and i still can't admit i love my body or my looks,I know i'm not as evil as you make me be, as far as i'm concerned, I was possessed by a demon, and that demon was you. Many times in my life I'd wish I had anything else ( cancer, drug addiction) but your friendship but i couldn't bring myself to confront you, after all you took away all my self worth. You were my addiction, I craved our friendship. You've made me waste all my money to buy into diet books and binges. You made my mom cry and because of you i have had to pay much fees to seek help. They always say you can learn from any experience even a bad one. Well, i guess i can only thank you for a few things out of this very shitty experience. Without you I may have judged others without having empathy towards their feelings, without you i may not be where i am today, i have met many intelligent professionals who have given my great values and friendship, and BECAUSE OF YOU i have figured out what i want to be.I'll never know With or without you if i would be persuing the goal of earning a doctors of Psychology, but it doesn't matter because I WILL!! HAHA I WILL, that is certain and unlike many times in my life, I DON'T NEED YOU, I CAN DO THIS ONE BY MYSELF!!! It may be a struggle but I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG! So, you may hear from me now and then, maybe more of me telling you to fuck off, but i think it is well deserved, since you have been doing a lot of the talking and telling for the past 8 years. So with this, this is my closure to you. i hope you know what that empty and lonely feeling you have made me feel is. Goodbye good riddens, my life will be better off without you!
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
And maybe getting a shotgun.
And a knife.
Bitch gotta die.