I have been struggling with some sort of eating disorder for 20 years now (I posted on the New Member list, but want to add more). My mom committed suicide when I was 16 and that's when it started happening. I don't really know what I am though. I have to weigh every morning and every night and I get so discouraged when I really start trying to lose weight and I don't. So, during these times, if I have a bad day eating, I just throw it up. But, on good days, I try to just keep my calories very low and pray I don't mess up. I am training to run a mini-marathon, so I'm running 2 days a week and doing weights 2 days a week. I finally told a friend of mine about this (the first person I've ever told) yesterday and her advice was to try to start by weighing every morning and only every other night. So, I tried that last night and it was so hard. I didn't step on that scale, but I couldn't sleep either. What a mess. I don't want to go to therapy because I can't afford it and I don't want my ex to find out because he will try to use it to take the kids from me. How the heck do you overcome something like this? It's so tormenting.
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