I went down to counseling services here at my college for the first time. After meeting with the counselor she said "I can't see you, I will refer you out." She apparently thinks I need 2-3 times a week. She doesn't understand that I saw my therapist once every 2 weeks. She said they always refer out ED patients. I asked about a support group. They don't have one. I asked and suggested they start one. Nope. They apparently tried that and it didn't work. I feel awful. I just told my whole life story to this random person. And she says she won't see me. I've come back to my room to cry. I give up on recovery. The only reason I wasn't purging or cutting was because I wanted to show how strong I was to this person. And she doesn't f*cking care. I even went down there with my back being a b*tch to me and in incredible pain. Nope. ALL FOR NOTHING!!! I seriously give up recovery now. Just f*ck it. I thought I'd never say it, thought I was strong, but this just triggers me so bad. I don't care anymore. If no one wants to see me...then I will shrink away to nothing so they really can't see me! I feel so empty and upset inside. Why did this happen to me? Why???
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