I went to treatment for 6 weeks. I was doing so well I couldnt wait to get out on my own and live my new life. I got out 11-16 and sadly already my mind is getting consummed again. Will this ever end? I dont wont to or have the money to be in and out of treatment centers all my life. How is this so strong? wHEN I got out I was on a good meal plan and scared to death of the health issues they had told me about.I have a leaky heart valve and osteoporisis. but now I guess thats not good enough because I am already not eating my full meal plan, thinking of diet pills and I bought a scale last night. My weight is all I could think of I had to know. and now I know argggg! I dont know if I want to keep fighting useing my tools and skills I learned or just give into it and live life the only way I know how. I feel so weak.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??