I posted a topic yesterday about how the doctors think I have mono (I'm getting tested tomorrow) and so my appetite doesn't really exist because I don't feel well at all. So, someone on here told me that if I couldn't rely on "hunger" to make me eat, then I needed to go back to my "eating plan" and my food allowances at certain times.... BUT I've never been to the doctor for my anorexia (I've never told my parents about my ed and they either don't know it's going on or they refuse to recognize it) so I've never had an "eating plan". How does that work? Can I find something to help me with that online? I've just gotten on the road to gaining a little weight because of my boyfriend's help and I don't want to lose any weight because I'm afraid it would secretly make me happy and then I'd go back to starving myself, or even purging again. Inside I really want to lose weight, but I'm so scared to.
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