Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Mental Health
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The Urge

deleted_user
deleted_user
Why do I feel the urge to do this? Is it becuase I think I will change? Will it actually make a difference? I dont think so.
But sometimes throwing up is the only solution. Maybe if I throw up my borther will get better, maybe my parents will love me more.
Does anyone else feel like this? like its hard to control when you do it. Just because no one is home, it feels like i should.
deleted_user
deleted_user
bingeing and purging covers up a lot of emotions. it's great that you are in tune with what emotions you are trying to cover! i remeber as a teenager bingeing and purging when i had the house to myself...i don't know exactly why. maybe a sense of being IN CHARGE, or lonliness...who knows. deep down you know that harming yourself will make nothing better...only worse. but when there's nothing you can do....it's hard.
i think a lot of us have been where you are. hang in there.
Slimpics
Slimpics
Oh my dear. This is all part of our disease, and it's incredibly, inexplicably complicated. There's such a strong, intricate connection between WHAT we think in our heads, and the physical release we experience when we purge. It's like "magical thinking." It's our saftey mechanism and it makes us feel like we have some control or power over things we really may NOT be able to influence in our lives (like your brother getting better.)

I know you know how irrational your thinking is regarding your urge to purge, and I WISH I had some better advice or answers for you. Try to be aware of what the eating disorder is telling you. I understand that with lots of practise, a person can learn to tune these "voices" out, and when one can, recovery has begun.
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