my life is dedicated to how i look. i want to look perfect. i want to feel ok when people look at me instead of wanting to run and hide. i want to look healthy when on the inside im so far from it. why do i feel like my life is pointless if i cant please other people? im terrified of going outside because i feel like everyone is staring at me.. im terrified that they see what i see.. and then im so sad.. is this really what life is meant to be about.. being pretty?? i cant function anymore.. everytime i try to i get over whelmed by fear.. im physically sick in some way or another.. and then what difference does it actually make how i look when im sitting here alone anyways.. im disgusted with myself because of how i look.. but also for being so self obsessed..
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