I know how you feel. Even when I was free of bulimia for a couple years my eating was disordered in that I still had very unhealthy obsessions. My biggest fear is that one day I'll be totally recovered from the bulimia, but I'll still have the obsessive thoughts..it's like I'm bound to slip back into it at any time. It feels like I will never be able to look at food like a normal person. All I see is numbers. I guess I really have no advice for you except to take one day at a time and just try to be strong. :)

i dont know what to say. i am going through school to be a chef, so i am surrounded by food all the time. the thing is after working with it all day, i dont really feel like eating it, and if i do its just the really small bites to taste and make sure it tastes right. but i think i cling to my disease, like if i think these thoughts or do these things i have a reason, or an excuse, as if it could be an excuse.