Well here where I live they are having a weight loss competition type of thing at the local gym, which I already joined. I need to loose weight (not in an unhealthy sense, the holidays just werent very kind to me). Anyways I was doing good with no bp for like 2 weeks it seems as though I completely forgot about it until last weekend I feel like I got hit by a ton of bricks. It was like it was so nice not thinking about my ed but then when I got anxious i felt like I wasnt ready for it. I don't want this to consume my life anymore but i'm afraid if I just push it aside i will never face it and the ed will inevitably creep back in over and over. Also, when i get in a bp cycle i gain weight (sometimes i try not to purge and get excess calories) and i'm now nervous for the "weigh ins". Ugh its like its a lose lose situation. If i try to get to a healthy weight my ed takes over and if i dont try i will feel bad about myself all the time. Sorry if this seems sort of like a rant but i just dont know where to go from here so any advice would be great.
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