Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
ever since i had to make a move in the beginning of January I have felt my depression getting worse and my ed getting more out of control...there have been a few instances where i felt like things were going better as far as my ed....however, right now it feels as if i'm sliding downhill very fast...
I had to move out of state to help extended family while they deal with legal issues....this was to be a temporary move, just until their situation was settled and then i was going to go back home....for coming out to help out thru this i was told that all my expenses would be covered so that i wouldn't have to use up what money i had saved before being laid off at work....well that did not work out the way it was supposed to...i am now down to $2.17 in my bank account and approx.$6 and some change in cash....I have no money to buy my airline ticket or to buy my necessities when i run out of them....I have started looking for some work around the area...hoping to find something so that i can get money saved up and to buy my ticket to go back home....
I am so miserable right now....today my thoughts started getting bad...i have no insurance...and with no money i can't get in to see a doctor to get back on my meds....my ed behaviors are really all over the place and getting worse...
I hate everything right now...i tried talking to my family about helping me with an airline ticket so i could go back home and they won't help me...they actually want me to stay here...they think it would be better for me to stay....
I live away from my family because their attitudes and behaviors are so toxic....i grew up with a lot of abuse....emotional, physical and sexual....in their eyes....it all should never be discussed EVER!....and i should just get over it and get on with my life....if i could do that i would be so very happy....but it doesn't seem to work that way...
so anyway....i feel so stuck...i want to go back home....plus where i was living before coming here to help out was a lot closer to my kids...i had things starting to fall into place with finances and my car situation so i could start driving to spend a weekend a month with my kids...and then i could also drive to pick them up and drop them off for summer vacations and winter breaks....
i know, im throwing so much out in this post...it probably makes no sense....i am so miserable and i just want to find a job somewhere so i can go back home.
I had to move out of state to help extended family while they deal with legal issues....this was to be a temporary move, just until their situation was settled and then i was going to go back home....for coming out to help out thru this i was told that all my expenses would be covered so that i wouldn't have to use up what money i had saved before being laid off at work....well that did not work out the way it was supposed to...i am now down to $2.17 in my bank account and approx.$6 and some change in cash....I have no money to buy my airline ticket or to buy my necessities when i run out of them....I have started looking for some work around the area...hoping to find something so that i can get money saved up and to buy my ticket to go back home....
I am so miserable right now....today my thoughts started getting bad...i have no insurance...and with no money i can't get in to see a doctor to get back on my meds....my ed behaviors are really all over the place and getting worse...
I hate everything right now...i tried talking to my family about helping me with an airline ticket so i could go back home and they won't help me...they actually want me to stay here...they think it would be better for me to stay....
I live away from my family because their attitudes and behaviors are so toxic....i grew up with a lot of abuse....emotional, physical and sexual....in their eyes....it all should never be discussed EVER!....and i should just get over it and get on with my life....if i could do that i would be so very happy....but it doesn't seem to work that way...
so anyway....i feel so stuck...i want to go back home....plus where i was living before coming here to help out was a lot closer to my kids...i had things starting to fall into place with finances and my car situation so i could start driving to spend a weekend a month with my kids...and then i could also drive to pick them up and drop them off for summer vacations and winter breaks....
i know, im throwing so much out in this post...it probably makes no sense....i am so miserable and i just want to find a job somewhere so i can go back home.
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I wish things could be easier for you. Be gentle with yourself - ED will only make it that much worse, although I know it can help with the feelings at least temporarily.
We're here for you...
Thank you for your comment and support...OVERWHELMING is the word for it...over and over again...I chatted with a cousin of mine last night who lives about an hour away from the family i am currently staying with...she asked when I was going to come visit her...so i am going to see if i can do that ASAP...just to get away from here...
I am going to continue looking for a small part time job...i'm going to talk to my cousin to see if i could possibly stay with her for a bit and look for work where she lives...
i just want to get back on a road where i start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel again...right now everything seems so dark and more hopeless each day...
I agree with Lynn that you need to break it down into small steps and also keep your ed in control if you can. If your ed starts affecting your health that won't help a thing. It's not easy to do but try using some affirmations and journaling to see if that doesn't help.
Hang in there!
Hope you get outa dodge ASAP!