Every time my soon to be ex harrasses me I get so upset I make myself throw up. I used to think it was all about not wanting to be fat, but I have noticed that whenever he starts with me, I just want to throw up anything thats in my stomach. If I haven't eaten, I will drink a bunch of water just so I will have something to puke up. I know this is a form of SI, but I just can't stop. I used to think I did it because I thought if I was thinner or prettier, he would pay more attention to me, but that didn't work. So now I have told him its over and he still upsets me so bad. I hate being me.
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