my parents have locked up almost everything to try to keep me from b/p'ing but there is ice cream left over from my grandma's b-day on sunday, i'm so pathetic, already planning on b/p'ing when i get home, i am so weak, i want to resist the urge, but i never seem strong enough...it seems like either i restrict to horribly low amounts or binge on junk food...i wish i could just eat normal amounts of healthy foods... :,( tempted to take some dps because they always make me sick, not logical, i know...and the guilt is horrible, today during break, i was crashing, SO sleepy, i had a friend buy me a blue berry bagel and cream cheese, it worked, i was more awake, but i felt so so guilty, i really wanted to purge...i didn't but i skiped lunch to 'make up for it' i am so sick of this :,( but at the same time i am too scared to give it up...what can i do to keep from b/ping when i get home?
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