I am well aware of the fact my upbringing is what brought this on. I have suffered from anorexia which was in the earlier part of my life and bulimia that will not cease to exist. A few years ago I had gained a lot of weight and had gastric bypass surgery. If I had not gained that weight, I wouldn't be here. Because of bulimia, I had turned my stomach inside out around my diaphragm. I was very sick and ended up underweight which I of course thought was wonderful. I am back to what most people I guess would call average. Has all of this stopped the bulimia? No. My stomach is perforated again. I can't do this anymore. I want to stop thinking of clothing size, having a fit when they want to put me on a scale at the doctor's office, put my hand around my waist so I know it is still there. Since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I of course am worried about weight. When I was at the doctor's I also found out I had damage to my neck and spine. I have a serious condition and still all I wanted from the doctor was a diet pill because I was worried about what I could weigh from the medicine. It can't control me anymore. People don't understand at all, Bulimia and fibro are what some people call "women's diseases." I am a 46 year old man and some how I ended up with that and an alphabet soup's worth of diagnosis. Can what I look like ever not be something that dominates my mind?
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