Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
people know that feeling...that thers gotta be more to life than this!
I hit the lowest of the low today.. So, i get home from jogging and have a craving for binging. Theres no food in the house and my parents are in too, im desperate. So i catch a bus into town just to buy binge food. I then catch another bus back home and find out ive left my house key on the counter (my money was stuck in my pocket so i emptied everything out onto the counter). Well, i can't ring the doorbell because parents will ask me where my key is, also noticing the food in my hands. So, i catch a bus back into town, get back my key and another bus back home. How sad is this! i have to take out kitcats outa one of them big packs, individually stuf them in my pockets along with other food i got in big packets. Someone was in the kitchen as i let myself in so i subtly but quickly run to hide a bag of buttons into a BOOT!! yes, a boot! disgusting!..afta eating the lot in my room (including the buttons) my mum offers me some chocolate rasions, i could have been sick there and then. I had to wait a full 30 mins until they went out so i could purge up as much as possible. This has by far been the worst day of my life. And now i cant helpfeeling i need to starve until im thin again..im ashamed of myself and deserve to have others be too.
The real question here is, is all the secracy, all the shame, worth it. Is a binge/purge really worth it. Laying awake at night, wondering if food will come up out of the shower as it has done before, every time your mum or dad shouts you, thinking that theyve discovered somthing. Im losing it big time! :(
I hit the lowest of the low today.. So, i get home from jogging and have a craving for binging. Theres no food in the house and my parents are in too, im desperate. So i catch a bus into town just to buy binge food. I then catch another bus back home and find out ive left my house key on the counter (my money was stuck in my pocket so i emptied everything out onto the counter). Well, i can't ring the doorbell because parents will ask me where my key is, also noticing the food in my hands. So, i catch a bus back into town, get back my key and another bus back home. How sad is this! i have to take out kitcats outa one of them big packs, individually stuf them in my pockets along with other food i got in big packets. Someone was in the kitchen as i let myself in so i subtly but quickly run to hide a bag of buttons into a BOOT!! yes, a boot! disgusting!..afta eating the lot in my room (including the buttons) my mum offers me some chocolate rasions, i could have been sick there and then. I had to wait a full 30 mins until they went out so i could purge up as much as possible. This has by far been the worst day of my life. And now i cant helpfeeling i need to starve until im thin again..im ashamed of myself and deserve to have others be too.
The real question here is, is all the secracy, all the shame, worth it. Is a binge/purge really worth it. Laying awake at night, wondering if food will come up out of the shower as it has done before, every time your mum or dad shouts you, thinking that theyve discovered somthing. Im losing it big time! :(
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Don't think of it as 'I'm going to talk about my ed to some stranger.' Think of it as 'I'm just going to open this door and go in and sit down.' Take it one step at a time. And then once you've started talking to someone, it will hopefully start to get easier to confide in them. Really really good luck for monday.