Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Sneaky, morphing, eating disorder.

Juice
Juice
So there I was yesterday ,congratulating myself that I had suddenly REALLY realised that restricting my intake was dum ,and I didn't need to do it. I mean a moment of crystal clear mental clarity! I was elated.So I ate a normalish amount and felt fine. Until this morning, when I found myself eating everything in the house. Immediately followed by,well, I don't need to tell you, and now I feel sick, and guilty, but not in the normal b/p way. I feel ED conned me into thinking I'd got on top of it when all the time he was hiding behind the curtains sniggering and waiting for me to get caught out again. It feels worse than the usual cycle of failure and remorse. Did anyone else ever have this feeling of the ED changing shape and increasing its power?
deleted_user
deleted_user
omg>>>i got chills reading your post> i have just experienced the same thing> on friday i think i posted that i was ready to start maintaining and was feeling good> and then a long comes the worst weekend in a long time> i feel crappier than i did before> please message me if you want to talk>>i could probaly use your help as well>hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user
this happened to me alot during the beginning of my recovery! Its like you finally realize,but your not sure if you want to change your ways! its like half and half!
deleted_user
deleted_user
ED doesn't like being challenged like any Bully, well done for challenging ED, now you have to keep pushing the boundaries to make it completely powerless. Here for you. You inspired me today to recognise ED in its different disguises, just when you think it is quiet up it pops. Fane x
deleted_user
deleted_user
Absolutely. As soon as I stood up and decided to fight my ED it seemed to backlash at me with quite a few weeks of fury. Like it was saying "how dare you try and take me on, look how strong I am and how weak you are"

I just had to let it happen for a while but then I found the strength to take little steps and eat properly but at times it feels like it was all a big ED game.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Soooo true. You are lulled into this false sense of security-and just as you let your guard down, he's back even stronger than ever. And then we feel comfort in the ed. It is our safety net, a total love/hate relationship...it sucks...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Absolutely, it gives you a false sense of hope and thinking that this time things may actually change, but oh no you end back right where you started. The false hope is such a let down.
deleted_user
deleted_user
same thing happened to me this morning. I've been doing fine for a couple days, but as soon as I saw the cinnamon rolls and donuts at a college class party this morning, everything went down the drain.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, it has happened to me too. I think I'm on the right path and then I relapse. But strange enough I never blame Ed, I always blame myself for being weak and I feel guilt and shame. I wish I could be mad at ED and be a little gentler on myself.
Anyway don't give up. Keep on trying and one day you will be able to kick ED out and wave good bye.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is EXACTLY what happened to me for about 1.5 years when I first started dating my husband. I just said: "Screw you eating disorder; I'm going to eat whatevert and whenever I want!" I gained to a high but healthy weight for my height, but the moment I stepped on a scale, I started severely restricting again. Two years later, I am the worst I've ever been.

It is important not to just ignore your eating disorder, and pretend you're cured. For most of us, we will struggle with this the rest of our life, so it's better to acknowledge it. The book "Life Without ED" actually had a chapter on this called "Overcompensating."
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