I was doing really, really well. I've been recovering for a couple of years now, putting on weight and such. For some reason though, for the last few months, I've constantly felt fat. I'll not eat a meal all day, and then eat crisps and chocolate all at once, and then feel sick. I've only ever thrown up once, and that was two years ago. But the other day I actually thought about it. My own thoughts...of hiding my food again, making excuses...they're making me feel sick.

I want to cure my fear of food.
I want it so that my boyfriend doesn't have to sit with me and make sure I eat when I'm at his.
I want it so my mum can get out of the habit of staying in the same room until I've finished a meal.

That's another thing...I still can't finish a full meal. I always feel terrible afterwards, ungrateful, and sometimes I can barely eat half a plate-ful.

What's wrong with me? Grr!