my life seems too hard to manage sometimes. Its so hard to not control people in my life. My life has always been like that. my eating disorder just affects every part of my life. the way i think is so negatively. i cant deal with my b/f telling me the truth so he doesn't....i donno what to do anymore. its like every part of my life is affected even when it has nothing to do with food....today was the worst christmas, i donno if me and my b/f are going to be together very much longer, and the worst thing is, we still love eachother, its just the same old shit for three years and id onno what to do anymore and hes fed up. how do i change something that is so hard to change. how do i love who i am or even like who i am when i can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror? maybe hes right maybe we do need to be apart...i just don't know how to let go :(
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