I'd told my aunt the other night about my anorexia. At first she didn't believe me. But then she realized that this is real. She seemed to be doing her best. But today we had a conversation on it. Long story short: she doesn't get it. She's making it sound like I don't want help. That I want people to do my work for me. And, she doesn't think I have 'true" anorexia. Is there even a "true" anorexia? You either have it or you don't. Anyways, so I'm really upset. She'd really upset me because she'd said "Hannah, you don't want to do anything about this. You know how I know that? Because your mother was the same way". It tuns out my mother had "Compulsive Overeating Disorder". The thing that really upsets me is that she thinks my anorexia will go away with "healthy eating and exercise". She thinks that that will 'cure' my ED. Then, after I started to cry, she told me this "Hannah, if you don't 'help' yourself now, your going to die by next summer. And I WON'T let you die". So, that was kinda a wake up call. Because, I knew something was wrong (but I denied it for a long time), but I didn't know that it was that bad. She'd told me that by the way my "eating habits" are now, I'm on deaths road. So, now, I'm scared shitless. I cannot sleep.
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