My mind keeps telling me that I'm not that sick yet... not sick enough to warrant help. But I went to the doctor today and my heart rate set off the alarm... he almost didn't let me leave. Now I have to try to eat more and drink ensures for the next 2 days and see him back on thursday... if my heart rate isn't up, he's putting me in the hospital and I have 2 freaking weeks of classes left. I'm so scared. I don't know if I can do this. How can I go from what I was doing to just all of a sudden forcing all this stuff in my body? I'm scared I'm going to go back to binging and purging.
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