I have been struggling with Bulimarexia for more than 12 years. On Jan. 11 I entered and inpatient treatment program and for the first time in 12 years I stopped binging and purging and ate 3 meals and 2 snacks everyday. I did so well I got discharged on March 7th. The first 6 weeks were good . I kept up my eating even though I started restricting a little. My weight stayed at a healthy 20 BMI(Body Mass Index)I decided to stop attending my transition groups. Recently in the past 3 weeks I started restricting . I am supposed to eat 2000 calories a day but I dropped to 1200 calories in the hope of shedding a few pounds. My weight hasn't changed at all wich is quite discouraging but what is more devastating is that 3 weeks ago I had my fist binge after being abstinent for 3 months. I considered that a slip and continued with my meals. This weekend it happened again. Saturday I had 2 binges and Monday I had another binge. I am completly panicked. I stopped going to my therepy since I was doing so good I thought that I didn't need to go. But now I cannot go back since they have discharged me from this group. I am so scared .I don't want to be bulimic anymore. I want to move on with my life now. I want to be normal. I don't want to go back like I was before but I am so unhappy with my new healthy weight. Do you think this is a relapse. Do you think my food intake has caused the binges or was it just the fact that that week I also started dealing with underying issues.What about support...help...where do I go for support? What is happening to me-AM I RELAPSING?
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