this is my second pregnancy i have gained 50 pounds becuase before the pregnacy i would purge up to 20 times a day i was a bitch and i am now huge with a cottage cheese but and a body that seems like 3, i am petrified of afterwards i am due may 20 and with my first pregnanbcy is 2001 i got severely bulimic pretty quick. i am on wellbutrin but i have been hospitalized etc. i live with my boyfriend-- but i hate food. why does it control me. its like i am scared of it. my boyfriend is gorgeous and he eats less than me, he is very supportive but he knows i am big, i have deep ugle stretch marks, i cry everyday but i have binged so much this pregnacy like people wont make fun of me if i am fa now, but i have got some comments.. i am so scared. i hate who i was so sick a prisioner, but it has never left my head. plus my boyfrien not having sex with me.. for whatever reason that dya and doing it himself to porn magazines.. when he goe sto work i just look at these magazinesand cry. i wonder if they eat. i am so sad that women feel sometimes our bodies are all we have. i hope to hear from you soon
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