
Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

deleted_user
ok im in a really weird place right now. I mean everythings going ok, some would say im theqnichally "recovered" from my ed. but in my head this feels strange, i have a weird sensation. my ed took everything away from me, my family, my freinds everything- i was OBSESSED and ADDICTED. but now i think im ok, im building bridges again, although i live by myslef me and my mum get on now and i have a reasonably good group of freinds, im doing well at college, ive put on some weight and feel ok with this, i have more energy, i can focus clearly etc, so really youd think things are great and they kind of are, i even enjoy the tastes of food, wiv my ed it was like i couldnt taste anything- i was numb. very ocassionally il purge but now im aware of what im doing and dont feel that "high" no more. i also know that i do this because i have too many emotions and feelings. i started drugs in the holidays (im soooo stupid) i smoked weed, took ecstasty and treid anphetimines once. They made me feel so happy but i know thats only a tempory fake happiness fixed by a pill or a spliff etc but what i really want is real geniune happiness, althouth i seem to have everyting in life now i dont know how to find this contemptness. I wish wish wish i could be happy and im not depresed but for some reason im still not satisfied with what i have in life, why is it i always want more? even when i have everything? nothings ever good enough, i suppose thats the trouble with being a perfectionist. I feel like somethings missing now my ED is gone, like im empty and dont get me wrong i hated it at the time although i thaught that i loved it (does that make sense?) it totally distroyed everything i had good in my life but now i kind of miss it.
why is this? can anyone relate, offer advice? etc...
why is this? can anyone relate, offer advice? etc...
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I can totally relate with everything you've said. So much of what you've mentioned is the exact reason why I started the discussion on contradictions...that inner war in your head that keeps telling you one thing and your heart yells another...it's a crazy land.
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Everyone's comments here are so very true. I've gotten a lot from reading them.