After struggling with anorexia and food addiction and OCD for over 12 years, this was an entry from my journal today after lunch with my sister. Any tips ( ihave been in intense therapy for over 12 years)................was so triggered today at lunch and Emily launched into my me and so called me on my routines and my denial about my body. It triggered me to the enth degree because I almost felt like she was saying her way of life was better than mine (type b) and that I would never be happy until I could relax. She said I will feel more anxious in my comfort zone and also in my challenge zone, so why not challenge myself and see if I could do it. But I dont know if I really can! I am feeling this despair that I am going to live my life alone, and am too selfish and manipulative to have kids or gt married because everything always has ti be the way I want it to be. In reality, I know that is not a possibility, but does that mean I am destined to be alone? I just dont know. All I know is I stole a shitload from the store, and probably ate thousands of calories worth of ice cream. I cant keep doing this to myself!
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