About a week ago someone made the comment that i was the only fat on in the class. He said he was kidding but im the person in class who never talks to anyone because im too shy so why he would even say that as a joke is odd. That night i started to make myself throw up. The next day i realized that i was paying attention to how all the other girls look. They all were like a childs size zero and had perfect make up and perfect hair. So now i keep on throwing up thinking that maybe someone will think that "im" the skinny one and that i deserve some attention. I have other problems that probrally led to this (mom has cancer, i cut myself etc.) Basically i either need to know how to get a joke or people are just mean. Im just afraid its too late to stop. ive been doing it every day. sometimes twice. I dont want to keep doing this but i dont see any other choices. I want to fit in.
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